Muffins for Mom

Charley and I had the privilege of joining Morgan at her pre-school this morning for "Muffins with Mom" where we, of course, had some muffins, the kids had some juice, and I loaded up on some more caffeine. Afterwards,the kids presented us with bookmarks that had their picture on it, and a cute flower they somehow made out of a coffee filter. I really admire the creativity of their teachers. Anyhow, it got me to thinking about how much our lives have changed since having children, and it reminded me of the story below. I think it really sums it all up. I hope you all enjoy it...and Happy Mother's Day (a little early) to all you moms out there.

Being a Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my friend casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. "We're taking a survey", she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life " I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know" she says "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my friend trying to decide what to tell her. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I want my friend to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. That however decisive she may be at the office, she will second guess herself constantly as a mother.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

My friend's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. "You'll never regret it" I finally say.